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I know I usually write pieces on love and relationships, but I felt as though this was needed- if not to my readers, but for me. Let me start off by saying- in life, we make ourselves available to so many people, our friends, boyfriends or girlfriends, jobs, children, etc; so available that we tend to spread ourselves too thin. Often times, we allow these things to consume us in a way that we are almost blind to the things that are or were our foundation.
These past few months I have been going through an issue with a family member that has been magnified because of outside interferences. I won’t mention the name of this family member, but let’s say that we were as close as close can be, unless you go through this kind of experience in your life, you can not sympathize with the amount of pain it brings. . Between our personal lives and differences, we have grown apart and no matter how I try to reach out to this person it ends in an explosion. As I reflected on this pothole in my life, I decided that I could not be the only person who is facing this- so I decided to share my story and thoughts.
When we are little, we are taught to love our family and cherish them. I, for one, was taught to protect my family anyway I needed to (I am the smallest of three children, but I was by far the feistiest one) and stick by them. Some of us, like me, go as far as fighting battles for them, teaching them as well as learning from them. Your family, to those who are lucky enough, becomes your perpetual support system in your highest of highs and lowest of lows, so how is it that one can easily dispose of that once you become an adult?
The fate for every small child growing up is the same, one day you will grow old enough to leave the nest and start a nest of your own (whether that nest includes a significant other, children or not- this is entirely up to you), once we do this we approach the opportunity to search for ourselves yet again. It is important to find yourself and vital to know what it is that you want out of your life, but don’t forget where you came from. The family that was there through your heartbreaks and low points still exist! We all become busy to the point where finding time to breathe is a challenge, but the time you put aside for the things that are familiar to you will do you good. Being around the people who have loved you and accepted you, for all your flaws, is a refreshing reminder that you are not alone in this life. A wise man once said, “Be in the world, not of the world”- I could not have said it better. It’s easy to get caught up in your daily routine- work, home, family or friends, sleep- work, home, family or friends, sleep. Make time for the things and people that helped mold you into the person you are today; your family. While I totally understand, that friends are easier to stomach sometimes; as we choose our friends and not our family- but remember who you are and who you were. So many people lose themselves because they become “of the world”; yes- we need money to survive and yes, it is important to do the things that you want to do, but don’t lose yourself. What better way to remember than to spend time with those who know who you are and who you can be?
I know (probably better than most) that family can be hectic and over the top (for a lack of better words), they are far from perfect, they can come off as mean sometimes and inconsiderate- but they are yours. Embrace them. So many people today are not as fortunate as you are, there are people who have lost their family or don’t know who their family is, and these people are alone. Be appreciative for what you have been given, don’t lose sight of these blessings. Don’t forget the values your family has instilled in you when you were a child, and most importantly don’t forget the people who took the time out to instill those values in you- the same people who worked hard to keep you safe and gave you love, the way they knew how to. Make time for your family, time is not promised; and you are not guaranteed when you will see them again. Remember: we chose our friends, we chose our wives and husbands; but the people who have made sacrifices for us and those who have loved us from the very beginning are given to us and chained to our souls- never forget that.